"Never get married while you're going to college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake."

"Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation."

"Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people."

"No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish."

"Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men."

"One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mousetrap you set the night before."

"An aim of an argument should be progress, but progress ultimately means little without victory."

"That's part of American greatness, is discrimination. Yes, sir. Inequality, I think, breeds freedom and gives a man opportunity."

"'Think as I think' said the man, 'or you are abominable. You are a toad.' And after I had thought on it, I said 'I will then, be a toad.'"

"Chief of the Army."

"It's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back."

"'The harp at Nature's advent strung has never ceased to play; the song the stars of morning sung has never died away.'"