"For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath a pedestal"

"His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy."

"If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job."

"Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons."

"Don't knock masturbation -- it's sex with someone I love."

"Doing abominations is against the law, particularly if the abominations are done while wearing a lobster bib."

"The quantity of civilization is measured by the quality of imagination."

"Everything that God created is potentially holy, and our task as humans is to find that holiness in seemingly unholy situations. When we can do this, we will have learned to nurture our souls."

"The house does not rest upon the ground, but upon a woman."

"An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens."

"The great act of faith is when a man decides he is not God."

"Successful people are very lucky. Just ask any failure."